As of right now the post has fifteen comments which argue (in a good way) whether a program like this is helpful or harmful to help children gain a healthy view of wine. After adding my comment I continued to think about this for the rest of the day and when I was deciding what I would write about today, I felt like expanding on my comments.
We live in a society that historically has dealt with problems by creating rules and laws in an attempt to eliminate the problems. The result is a rule prohibiting something that in and of itself isn't really a problem. The problem only exists when an individual isn't responsible in the way they handle something. I often choose to enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. No problem, right? One glass of wine with food is responsible by most people's standards. The problem comes when I consume a lot of alcohol and begin to have no respect for the people I'm with or get behind the wheel of a car and drive away. Is the alcohol the problem or the choices I made in the amount I consumed and what I did after consuming it? Most people would not blame the alcohol.
I would rather have my children grow up with authority figures in their lives who explain to them all of the responsible choices one needs to make when consuming alcohol rather than simply telling them to wait until they're twenty-one or show them videos of car accidents caused by underage drinkers. When I sip a glass of German Riesling at the table would I be helping them make better choices by allowing them to have a taste or lead them to believe that something magic happens the day they turn twenty-one which will make it ok. ('Cause we all know that twenty-one year olds, especially on their birthdays, always make responsible choices.)
Don't get me wrong; there are things to be avoided. I'm sure someone could find a hole in my logic and if you can, please leave a comment. But since I have the choice, I'm going to offer my kids a taste of wine at the dinner table. Who would you rather have offer your child their first drink; you or one of their friends?
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8 comments:
I certainly agree that responsibility is the key issue here. Just about anything can be abused by an irresponsible person. There are age limits set on certain matters because it is thought a younger person is not responsible enough for the potential dangers of certain matters, from alcohol to tobacco, and including sex.
Parents are certainly primarily responsible for instilling responsibility into their children. That is why over at Catavino I made the point that educational programs at school on wine need parental involvement to truly be effective.
But, does a child really need to taste alcohol to learn how to responsibly handle it? Why can't they learn responsibility about it without tasting it until they are of age? How does a few sips of wine somehow make them more responsible?
Or will you give them more than a few sips? Are you going to let them drink enough to get drunk so that they understand those feelings too? Is once being drunk enough or do they need to get drunk several times before they learn responsibility?
Even responsible adults make mistakes with alcohol. Plenty of otherwise responsible people have driven when they have had one too many drinks. So how can we expect children to be perfect as well?
Why do kids who see those drunk driving movies, of horrific crashes and deaths, still drink and drive? I don't think that would end just because kids started drinking before they were 21.
Do you extend this to other matters as well? Sex prior to the age of consent? Tobacco? Drugs? Should we allow all those things to happen in our homes, just so it happens there rather than outside the homes? Or is alcohol somehow so different?
We also have to note the potential illegality of such actions. Recently, at least in MA, there have been parents arrested for holding parties where they served underaged kids alcohol. The parents all said they would rather it happened in their homes than outside. Yet the law did not accept that as an excuse.
I think this issue is not cut and dried. There are many different aspects to consider.
Richard,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I'm not saying that a child needs to taste alcohol to learn how to responsibly handle it. It's just my feeling that by making it a normal part of life instead of "the big bad thing that can only get you into trouble" will make it easier for kids to have a healthy view of alcohol. I have never been drunk in front of my children; that's not really ever my point in opening a bottle of wine. And as I noted in the post, there are certainly holes in my "argument" but I was just sharing my view on the subject. You certainly have some valid points.
Thanks for the great post Jeff. I really think the whole idea of using the term "adult" the root of the problem. Through out history adult has been defined differently and continues to be defined differently depending on where you live. At the root, alcohol is not something evil by itself, society creates it's definition and the perception of alcohol not our physical state. 21, 18, 16 are not magic numbers. With anything in life, our experience with it shapes who we are and how we react to it.
Jeff,
I second the great post, after having had a little revelation last night when I attempted to make dinner. As Ryan always cooks, my time in the kitchen is limited to about 4 times a year, making me more than timid around a meat clever. Holding it in my hand, I feel like I should be playing the part in a psychological thriller than simply cutting meat. Why? Simply because I've never had guidance. No one has ever taken the time to sit down with me and say "this is the easiest way to de-bone a chicken, grill a steak or make a sauce. etc." And as I am an oral and visual person, I like to have someone physically explain it to me rather than reading it over the net.
I say all this because the same holds true for any lesson to be learned. My Dad taught me how to rewire our house at 11, but at 32, I'm still inept at cooking. If we don't take the time to educate children across the board on every subject we can interweave into the conversation, they can't learn.
And Richard: It takes a community to raise both children and adults. I still need you to edit my posts when I get a fact wrong ;-) just as much as people need me to share with them the beauty of Iberian wine. I cannot control if someone doesn't take my advice, all i can do, is offer it with the utmost care and consideration as I know how.
PS-Anyone want to give me cooking lessons ;-)
Ryan and Gabriella, thanks for adding to the conversation. And what a great analogy. Could an 11-year-old kill them self rewiring a house? Most definitely. But that doesn't mean we say, "Wait till your 21!" Instead we come alongside them, let them watch, then let them help under our guidance, and finally let them do it alone while watching from a distance. Like I said before; maybe there are facts that could prove a hole in my theory but if I have a choice as to how my children will first experience alcohol, this is definitely how I want to go about it.
I am not against teaching children per se. I only caution that such education needs to be responsible. And that does not always happen.
I applaud responsible parents. Yet I know what irresponsible parenting can do as well. When an alcoholic father allows his 8 yr old son to drink some beer. No lessons taught, just some "feel like a man" talk. And that son growing up to be an alcoholic.
I completely agree with you on that point, Richard.
Richard, I agree as as well! The last thing I would want to support is fear breeding more fear and irresponsibility for yourself or your children! Point well taken!
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